Yokemates

It is not uncommon to sneak a quick kiss from “my pastor” on Sundays morning before the service begins, but one of our church members is not quite sure what to think about these displays of affection. What really caught him off guard the other day was seeing us sit together during the worship hour. Whoa! Then came the question in all its sincerity, “Is it ‘date night’ at church this morning or are you guys having marriage issues?” What caused all this curiosity and commotion? I simply sat with my husband during the worship hour and it caught this young man’s attention. I’ll admit this sight is a rarity, but it is definitely a sweet treat for both of us when we can make it happen! My husband and I seldom sit together at church. It’s just a fact, and apparently others have noticed that as well. What’s interesting for me to consider is that I’ve never actually known what it is like to go to church with my husband – at least at our church. We do live like many ‘normal’ famil...

What happens at your house the twelve hours before the alarm goes off on Sunday morning? We learned many years ago that a calm Saturday evening was crucial for our Sundays to go smoothly. Sundays are so full of activity and people that it is necessary for my husband to have a ‘people free’ zone on Saturday evenings if at all possible. It just makes Sundays go smoother. For years, the hardest part about 'the twelve hours before' for me was making sure I knew where all my kid’s clothes and shoes were. Why one shoe always seemed to go missing on Saturday is still a mystery! But, searching the house for that wandering shoe on Saturday evening was a lot less stressful than frantically tearing the house apart on Sunday morning. In recent years, I have come to terms with the fact that Saturday nights are often ‘work nights’ for me. The last minute powerpoint details are double checked and fine-tuned for the sermon. Church-related mail that arrived over the weekend is pu...

We’ve all asked this question of others, but how do we respond to that question when the tables are turned? I have to admit that most days I’m pretty quick to say “No, thank you.” My response quickly changes, however, the moment I feel a precarious grocery bag preparing to send my produce plummeting to the ground. The simple offer of an extra hand brings a sigh of relief, and I quickly accept the offered help. How about you?  Do you send a message of “I’ve got this” to others? What impression does that response make on those who offer their caring assistance? Does this reaction mean that we’re too independent or prideful? Or, do we simply not want to bother others with our not-so-well-thought-out challenges in life? Is showing kindness to others easier than receiving those same blessings in return? Helping others. It seems a pretty basic topic, but when digging deeper into the how’s and why’s that we help others it can get complicated pretty quickly. It began way back in ...

It has three points. It is one of the first shapes we learn to recognize. Triangles are one of the easiest musical instruments to play. Geometry unlocks the mysterious angles and formulas of triangles while Driver’s Ed class trains our eye to see this three-sided shape as a yield sign. Triangles may seem innocent enough, but they can really be quite dangerous! Have you ever gotten caught up in a triangle between you, your child and “their father”? or… Have you been caught in triangle between you, someone in your church family and “the pastor”? Both scenarios can be quite dangerous and yet filled with good intentions. The hardest part of any communication triangle is figuring out if it is actually an effective way to share information between three people or if it is simply a manipulative tactic that you are being drawn into. Trying to discern the motives of others is usually a very slippery slope. In time, and with prayer, it will become obvious if the ‘well-intentio...

Sometimes all our husbands need from us is a smile. It can really be just that simple. In the early years of ministry there were times when I would ask my husband, “Do you want me to come today?” Typically, the event I was referring to would have been a funeral service, a wedding or a community event where he would be speaking. It was not uncommon for him to say, “Yes, at least there will be one smiling face in the crowd.” He wasn’t necessarily referring to a tough crowd or angry mob, but more to the support that he could find in the smile of someone who believed in him and who he knew would be praying for him. Unexpected changes to my schedule in the early years were very challenging. We had three under the age of five. A change in plans meant that I went into “mommy mode” big time getting myself ready - as well as the girls. In the scramble to keep to my new schedule I had to find the missing coat, stash snacks in the diaper bag, grab some ‘quiet toys,’ make sure I had a f...

Over the last few days I have beaten myself up a bit since I missed my self-imposed goal of sharing a thought or challenge with you every Saturday night. I am now officially three days behind schedule. Why? I could give you several excuses, but the reality of life is that we each have schedule challenges, and when that happens we all find ourselves scrambling for sanity amidst all the demands. The goal - prioritizing those demands before we get too frazzled and keeping some semblance of balance in the process. So, what got me off my routine? Just one extra change to my schedule, but that change took a bit of extra mental energy. I soon realized that I had to make a choice of where to expend my extra energy for the weekend - and my two grandsons won out! Then today, I was in the church office working hard to complete a few projects when I heard someone call out, "Pastor." This call was repeated several times before I was able to find the visitor and ask if I could help him...

We comfort the hurting. We seek the lost. We encourage the champion. We lend a shoulder to cry on. We speak truth. We open our homes in love. We rock the crying baby. We clean the toilet. We lend a listening ear. We fill empty stomachs. We set limits. We pursue the wanderer. We change dirty diapers. We clean the house, fix the meals and walk the dog. We fix things. It is human nature. It is a Godly quality. Depending on the size of the church, many of the faithful take on multiple responsibilities weekly to keep things running smoothly - filing in the gaps and fixing things! The worship director may also be the sound tech, children’s choir coordinator and the one who pulls together Christmas and Easter concerts, musicals or specials. The elder may sit on a board making key decisions regarding the future of the church as well as serving as church janitor and head greeter. This reality is often true for both the pastor and his wife. After all, what is the alternative when there are...