Sitting Single

It is not uncommon to sneak a quick kiss from “my pastor” on Sundays morning before the service begins, but one of our church members is not quite sure what to think about these displays of affection. What really caught him off guard the other day was seeing us sit together during the worship hour. Whoa! Then came the question in all its sincerity, “Is it ‘date night’ at church this morning or are you guys having marriage issues?”

What caused all this curiosity and commotion?

I simply sat with my husband during the worship hour and it caught this young man’s attention. I’ll admit this sight is a rarity, but it is definitely a sweet treat for both of us when we can make it happen!

My husband and I seldom sit together at church. It’s just a fact, and apparently others have noticed that as well. What’s interesting for me to consider is that I’ve never actually known what it is like to go to church with my husband – at least at our church. We do live like many ‘normal’ families when we take a Sunday off or visit out-of-town family. When we have these opportunities, we drive to church together and even sit side-by-side. It’s a bit of a novelty, but we definitely enjoy each other’s company on those rare occasions.

Regardless of whether or not your husband is on staff or is the lead pastor at your church, you can likely relate to operating like a single parent or an unattached woman on Sunday mornings or at other church events. Typically, the pastor needs to arrive a bit early and stay late for services and activities. Whether or not it is feasible to drive separately may be a factor in what your Sunday reality looks like as well. Or, perhaps you just walk across the yard to enter the church doors! Then there are countless ways the parenting aspect of ministry marriages can play out during a worship hour or in getting the kids ushered to their various classrooms. Learning how to tag team is key in all marriages and at all stages of ministry life.

You may be at peace with the rhythm and pace you’ve figured out for your particular Sunday morning routine. Or, you may be struggling with a sense of overwhelming responsibility to keep it all together – on your own each week. Both scenarios are worth looking at to make sure that things are as healthy as they can be during this particular season of life. Kids can bring challenges. Aging parents can add an extra element of care and activity to our calendars. Ministry commitments also ebb and flow throughout the year – each putting a strain on our overburdened schedules. Taking time to consider the health of your normal Sunday routine is wise and worth the attention from time to time.

Are there any improvements that could be made to keep you connected as a family on Sunday mornings?

Or, is it simply time to shake up the normal routine - if the timing to do so is right for both of you? However you figure out how to ‘make it work’ in your home and ministry, teamwork is essential, and a little kiss on the cheek doesn’t hurt a thing either!

“May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.” Proverbs 5:18