Yokemates

Years ago, I remember a conversation I had with a pastor’s wife about life and she made this statement: “I’ve never been a very good pastor’s wife and I don’t think I ever will be.” My first reaction was to comfort and encourage her, but then I was curious to see what her answer would be to this question -  “How do you define pastor’s wife?” Which makes me wonder how you define the title, Pastor’s Wife, as well. Do you embrace it, or do you cringe inside when someone introduces you as the nameless PW? (after all, “I have a name!” ) Are you overwhelmed by the title and all the extra responsibilities that seem to cling to it? Perhaps, you’re just thrilled to be married to your sweetheart, so anytime someone calls you ‘wife’ you can’t help but smile! One of the most freeing things for me as a young pastor’s wife was realizing that the Bible doesn’t have a long list of "Do’s and Don’ts" for anyone married to a pastor. No special spiritual gifts or requirements to b...

There is a delicate balance that is ever present in any church body, family situation, relationship or work environment. We all have preferences, and many even think their way is always the best way. Without being tempted to point fingers at others, let’s take a few moments to be introspective on the topic of which way is the best way. My way? Your way? Or, what about the times when our ideas are being heard, but we don’t get the ‘green light’ to move on the project, idea or inspiration? Who takes priority? How can we know how far to push a personal agenda and when we need to back off? Here are the three elements that I’ve found to be a useful sort of litmus test in discerning wisely: 1. Respect - Yep, it goes back to the ‘Golden Rule’ – which is actually of biblical origin. Luke 6:31 teaches us to “Do to others as you would have them do to you.” That gracious strategy for life is just as valuable for a young child as it is for those with graying hairs. But, how can this ...

“Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.” Colossians 3:2 The pastor’s family lives in an interesting world - one that can be just as stable as it is unpredictable. Unexpected changes are common in all professions with budget cuts, lay-offs and management shifts, but it is rare that they affect a family as much as for those living in a pastor’s home. Military families and missionaries are probably the other households where vocational changes drastically impact each family member. Preparing for potential change is key in keeping a peaceful home and in maintaining some sense of stability. For the average household, a change in employment just means that mom or dad need to secure a new job. For the pastor’s family, however, it often means they will not just be looking for a new job, but a new church, new friends, new ministry endeavors - and quite possibly a new home. In these situations, the loss of church family and the loss of a home can be equally traumatic. W...

“I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.” 3 John 4 There they stood. The three of them. Grown men, yet boys. How many prayers were answered in this one sweet moment? Thank you, God, for the privilege to see this glimpse into time. I’ve only heard stories of the antics of these boys from decades ago. Now grown men. But, here they are in church together. Standing. Sharing. Side-by-side. Enjoying a moment of comradery, friendship, connectedness. A lifetime of shared memories. These men each have a unique story, and I only have a small understanding of the lives they have lived. They’ve each seen trouble. Drugs and alcohol, sports and school, marriage and divorce, babies lost and babies born, heartbreak and humor. A lifetime spent in the same community and now back in church together. Decades have passed. Some are dads, some are grandpas – all are saved! I can only imagine the tears that have been shed by their mothers over the years...