Yokemates

What is more important? Job, Church, Husband, Grandkids, Kids, Parents. The list is endless. When the lines between any of these areas get blurry, the choice gets harder. When am I a volunteer? When am I a pastor’s wife? When am I a mom or grandma? Why do I do the things I do? Why do you do the things you do?   When is the last time you took time out of your busy schedule to prioritize your life? Over the past two weeks, I have made a choice to put family first. In doing so, I didn’t neglect my job, but I did have to let go of the false guilt and tendency to be overly conscientious. My work ethic and commitment can somtimes hinder me from engaging in sweet and special moments with friends and family. Knowing which way to turn, how to balance all the demands of life and dividing up your much sought after time is not an easy balancing act - even on a good day!   By God's grace, I said ‘yes’ to a half-day field trip with one of my four-ye...

While running several errands today, I breathed a simple prayer of thankfulness for my little car . “It’s been running good ever since we got it, and it’s so nice not to have car payments!”   On I went to my final stop to pick up a few cold items at the grocery store. Upon returning to my car, I was caught off guard when I saw it. A flat tire! Not just a low tire. This one was as flat as a pancake! Quickly contemplating my options, I hoped the tire had just deflated while I was getting groceries and that the rim wasn’t damaged. Knowing the necessary tools and spare tire were in the back of the car, the idea of getting down on my hands and knees and manhandling a tire – in a public parking lot – was not the first option I wanted to try. Rather, I began trying to track down my husband hoping that he could rescue me. No answer. After several unsuccessful attempts to reach him, I decided to wait for his reply - hoping he was still in the nearby vicinity. While waiting, I had ...

In retrospect, I do not remember exactly when we made the choice. But, early on in ministry, the partnership mindset became the heart of our marriage and ministry. What that translated into was my participation in both worship hours on a given Sunday morning. For some pastors’ wives, that choice seems too close to a martyr mindset or at the very least not manageable for logistical reasons. What is interesting is that this ‘double duty’ has not been a burden for me, but rather a great blessing for over 20 years.   Undoubtedly, there are many Sundays where I need – yes, need – to participate in two worship hours to truly absorb what God has for me. There are even days when God knows that I will not have time for personal reflection during the worship service as the demands of ministry may distract me or call for my attention. On these days, the Holy Spirit actually prompts my heart and mind while in the shower preparing to go to church. With my spiritual preparation underway, I now...

The title, pastor’s wife can be very controversial depending on who you talk to. Some women even bristle with antagonism at the thought of being introduced with a title and not with their given name. Titles, however, are just that – a title. They are words that help to identify an individual. Just this past Sunday, I was introduced to a sister of a church attender as the pastor’s wife. From the beaming smile on her face, it was obvious that this introduction was meant to honor me as well as a means to help identify me with my husband, the pastor. With instant recognition – through this relationship connection – this sweet lady spoke of my husband’s glowing qualities and how much he was loved by her. What a blessing! Every wife wants her husband to be well thought of. Proverbs 31:23 even speaks to this desire when it states that “ Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.” It is healthy for those in our churches and communities...

No matter how diligently you prepare, sooner or later there will be a Sunday morning that challenges even the most devoted servant heart. I’ll admit that Sundays can be a mixed blessing. Some weeks go so smoothly, and God’s presence is sensed throughout the day. Other Sundays, however, can quickly challenge patience levels and are amazingly draining for both the pastor and his wife.    When the phone rings on a Sunday morning at my house, it is typically not a good sign. Bracing for what is coming, I pick up the phone with a tentative “Hello” as I internally consider ways to rearrange my morning routine. The call can just be a simple request to bring some allergy medication along with me for my sweet husband. Or, I may hear my sweet pastor’s voice (yes, my husband!) letting me know that the sanctuary projection system has gone haywire. Now, he’s wondering if I can get it up and running again! Throwing on clothes, I consider what might be done to remedy...

            Is attending a carnival ministry? Sure! It’s a unique way to meet people and build relationships. This year, an out-of-town visitor asked my husband if he was the mayor of our town. The sincere question made us both grin! It is so refreshing at times to see things from a different perspective. Apparently, the man had seen my husband “working the crowd” and was intrigued. What this visitor didn’t know was that my husband is friendly all year long – not just at parades or when he is in the public eye. He genuinely loves people, wants them to feel special and takes the time to remember names. Shaking hands and giving hugs comes naturally to him. But, what do I do when “my pastor” is connecting with people? Often, a smile is all that’s needed.               People are always watching, and that reality is easy to forget. As Christians, we are in essence ‘on para...

My Husband, My Pastor, My Partner! What a blessing it is to be married to a man who I truly consider my partner in life - my yokemate. Now, you may think that is a strange term of endearment. It may sound a bit too much like the proverbial "ball and chain." However, nothing could be farther from the truth when we are living as partners and are working together through the daily joys and struggles of life and ministry.   When we truly are working side-by-side toward the same goal, our marriage runs smoothly. When we help to carry the load of life together the burden becomes lighter to manage for each partner and the 'yoke' keeps us both on track and working together without added stress and pain.     In Matthew 11:29-30, Jesus encourages us with these words of invitation: "Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is lig...