The Gift of Being A Pastor’s Wife


We have been given one very unique and valuable gift – not because of who we are necessarily, but because of who we married. Yes, our husbands may or may not have been a pastor when we said "I Do," but if you can be called The Pastor’s Wife, you have inherited quite a special and unique gift. One that is multifaceted. 

We, of course, have been given a tremendous opportunity to encourage our husbands - and influence them in life and ministry. Some days, we need to dive into the hard conversations together. Other days, the most beneficial thing we can do is to provide a soft place for our husbands to land. Creating a refuge in our home - or in our conversation - can be invaluable after a long day or a particularly tough meeting. Simply providing a calm and quiet atmosphere can be a healing balm for both mind and soul.

Another benefit of being a pastor’s wife is that we are often given a front row seat to watch God’s redemptive work literally change lives. To witness what the transformation of the cross can do in an individual’s life is priceless. Even in the toughest of situations, God is actively working in the hearts and minds of those who are a part of our church fellowship. In our helplessness to fix things in people’s lives, within the church leadership or in relationship with others, we always have the opportunity to pray and put it all back in God’s hands.

Our personal witness speaks volumes as well – either for the positive or the negative. Whether those in our church, or community, understand our motives and heart is actually not the point. The goal is to live a life as best as we can like that of our Savior. If others don’t understand us or misjudge our actions, that is okay. God knows, and He’s the One we’re living for. That’s the life gift that we have been given to share – the platform to just be ourselves. To live our faith. To serve others. Not to prove anything to others, or to put people in their place. But, to simply be who God has called us to be at home, at church and in our communities.

People are watching, and that is a gift. But, we have to choose what we are going to do with that gift. Are we going to embrace the opportunities that God has put before us – whether easy or hard? Or, are we going to withdraw and cocoon our hearts to protect ourselves from potential pain and heartache? Both reactions are normal, but only one is truly beneficial – for ourselves, our husbands and especially for the Body of Christ.

God hasn’t given us a role to play, and He hasn’t dictated to us what we must do to be successful. What He has entrusted us with is to love one of His shepherds - and one of His flocks. What an amazing gift He has given us to invest in. To love our pastor and our church – as Christ loved us and His church. It requires a sacrificial love, without a doubt, but the potential benefits far outweigh the investment.

As we consider how we can truly embrace the gift God has given us - as a pastor's wife - in the coming year, I encourage you to seek God’s truth in your life.
  • Will you choose to embrace your husband, your pastor, as a gift from God – flaws and all?
  • Will you strive to grow spiritually and live a faithful life before your God, your husband and your children?
  • Will you choose to live your witness within the presence of your church family and community – for the sake of Christ?
  • Will you open your heart to God’s gift to you as a pastor’s wife – the privilege of influence and example?
Being a pastor's wife - it is one of the best gifts we can each embrace and receive with open arms this Christmas! May you sense our Heavenly Father's unconditional love for you this Christmas and may you be blessed with His overflowing abundance of grace and joy.



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